everything looks perfect

inspirando

drool Infiniternity

But now I'm at home, sitting on a chair, my head drooping lower and lower, until I drift off the only way I know how, moist lip against raised knees. Sometimes I remain in my Thonet position as late as midnight, and when I awake, curled up, coiled up in myself like a cat in winter, like a rocking-chair frame, I lift my head to find my trouser knee drenched with drool. I can be by myself because I'm never lonely, I'm simply alone, living in my heavily populated solitude, a harum-scarum of infinity and eternity, and Infinity and Eternity seem to take a liking to the likes of me.

from Too Loud a Solitude by Bohumil Hrabal

1,729 = 1³ + 12³ = 9³ + 10³

According to Hardy, he visited Ramanujan in a nursing home in 1918: "I remember once going to see him when he was lying ill at Putney. I had ridden in taxi cab number 1729 and remarked that the number seemed to me rather a dull one and that I hoped it was not an unfavourable omen. 'No,' he replied. 'It is a very interesting number. It is the smallest number expressible as the sum of two cubes in two different ways.'"

Their exchange can be unpacked and expressed as follows:
1,729 = 1³ + 12³ = 9³ + 10³
It is rare that a number can be split into two cubes, and even rarer that it can be split into two cubes in two different ways, and 1,729 is the smallest number that exhibits this property.

raptor

another raptor viewing ride
this time to Mollebaya
eagle sititng on a lamp post just outside the village as i rode in
an owl sitting there on the way back to the city
special

astro

kuka

a dull roar
growing
pulsating
air vibrating

we had some big ideas

wreck

well over 100,000 miles now (120,000?) just keeping them ticking over of late, not going too hard or far. on sunday i rode 4hrs at altitudes ranging between 2000 and 3000m and brutal desert conditions. chose to go where very few solitary riders go, "Los Muertos" (The Dead People) is the name of the route, hushed tones, and heads shake in disbelief that anyone would go there alone. actually there was a dead body, a motorcyclist left blood and body parts spattered and strewn, somebody's son or brother.  a handful of people already there, gawking, trying to guess why he crashed. missing the point.

 which point?

4hrs here feels like 6 in Minnesota or Wales or like a hard century, fond memories of the Headwaters 100 at the source of the Mississippi, my favourite race. on the rivet, sustained agony, cracking soul open, exultation. best time was 4h16m, about ten years ago...

Historia del Guerrero y de La Cautiva, Jorge Luis Borges

         En la página 278 del libro La poesía (Bari, 1942), Croce, abre­viando un texto latino del historiador Pablo el Diácono, narra la suerte y cita el epitafio de Droctulft; éstos me conmovieron singularmente, luego entendí por qué. Fue Droctulft un guerrero lombardo que en el asedio de Ravena abandonó a los suyos y murió defendiendo la ciudad que antes había atacado.

The Warrior and The Captive

On page 278 of his book La poesia (Bari, 1942), Croce, summarizing and shortening a Latin text by the historian Paul the Deacon, tells the story of the life of Droctulft and quotes his epitaph; I found myself remarkably moved by both life and epitaph, and later I came to understand why.

Droctulft was a Lombard warrior who during the siege of Ravenna deserted his own army and died defending the city he had been attacking.

tuku

Pezuta Itazipa Wopila

alma brotando

viaje telurico

rue de Turbigo

St Thomas's Hospital

Seven Dials

who

I was born in the USA, 44 years old, my name is lechuza
My parents split up when I was an infant and I have no memory of my father until I tracked him down in Los Angeles when I was 19. He died when I was 23.
I spent my childhood in a protective cocoon woven by my mother. Bu there was poison in that cocoon. I had a stepfather who made it his goal to crush my Spirit as a way of hurting my mother, I didn’t tell her about this until his funeral. As I said, poison. It almost worked.
After early childhood in Peru, my mother’s country, and formative adolescent years (9 to 22) in Wales, my stepfather’s land, I forged my own path in the USA, where my father’s Mexican family had resettled. I backpacked around Latin America for 18 months starting in ’93. I’ve had a deep appreciation for nature for as long as I can remember. One experience that took that appreciation to another level was spending a month on a small island in the Caribbean, alone with the fish and the birds. Spirit soaring at times, but wounded. Mother Nature always there, waiting for me to declare my readiness to be healed.

rebeldia

28 de abril, sin motor todo es mejor

SIN MOTOR TODO ES MAS MEJOR

Miradouro

The Captive

This story is told out in one of the old frontier towns – either Junín or Tapalquén. A boy was missing after an Indian raid; it was said that the marauders had carried him away. The boy’s parents searched for him without any luck; years later, a soldier just back from Indian territory told them about a blue-eyed savage who may have been their son. At long last they traced him (the circumstances of the search have not come down to us and I dare not invent what I don’t know) and they thought they recognized him.

bala

Cuando era muy pequeño solia jugar en un parquecito en frente de nuestra casa en san felipe. Mi mundo era ese. Alli me pasaba horas observando insectos y nubes.

Una vez encontre un par de hombres entre unos arbustos, eran soldados y llevaban armas. En cuanto se les paso la sorpresa de verme, me pidieron ayuda para encontrar una bala que se les había caído en el pasto. La encontré y me elogiaron, llamándome “ojo de águila”. Que orgullo.

Recién esta noche, recordando ese orgullo, me pregunto porque llevaban armas. Y si mataron a alguien con esa bala.

un poderoso canto de la tierra

bosaca

willing

"One of the most calming and powerful actions you can do to intervene in a stormy world is to stand up and show your soul. Soul on deck shines like gold in dark times. The light of the soul throws sparks, can send up flares, builds signal fires ...causes proper matters to catch fire...Struggling souls catch light from other souls who are fully lit and willing to show it.

If you would help to calm the tumult, this is one of the strongest things you can do.

Do not lose heart. We were made for these times."

~Clarissa Pinkola Estés

Bahia

to my family and relations

Dear relatives and relations, my heart,

The question of where…

Where in the process to enlightenment?

 Peace and joy inside and out, so easy when things are going well. Things go remarkably well when you’re at peace. Peace without action is superficial, still...look! there goes a perfect stranger, perhaps i can do something to make their life better. (Those closest to me, Jessie and my mum, have waited, are still waiting. though). Action without peace??? Having experienced leukemia and chemotherapy and, more importantly, having come out stronger on the other side inspires faith in Ometeotl and the deep well of strength and resilience that is there for all of us. I realize we can’t all recognize it at all times. Since the Sundance I went to in April ’11, I have taken on the process of healing as my purpose. Believing I can heal and be healed was very hard for much of 2011. Ometeotl has shown, is showing me, time and again, the amazing possibilities. Being back in the South brings a deep feeling of home… there are no bad days, just good days and better ones :) "Peace is every step" I heard once, resonates.

I miss the sweat-lodge and the ways of the Red Road of the North. I know that by staying here long enough I will discover places and traditions that one could miss on a short visit…much like walking in a land instead of driving through it. There are places where spirituality is closer to the surface, which makes them a magnet, such as Cuzco, but my mum doesn’t want to go there. I pray, in my own way, every day and wish I could pray together with others. I feel a strong connection with you and all my family and relations that’s outside time and space, yet know how amazing it feels to pray together <3 font="">

 Another place is Lake Titicaca. I spent a couple of nights on full moon in November on the island of Amantani. It’s a magical place, I could really see myself staying there for ages but then what would I do there? I’m resigned to teaching English while in Peru, though I will continue to search for interpreting possibilities – my dream job would be with an NGO working in poor, rural areas…when I learn Quechua and add that to my CV…the 3 language combination could be the key. Having said that, I am enjoying teaching, started 3 weeks ago at an academy 5 minutes from the apartment we’re renting…first job in over 3 years…rusty, having a great laugh, just hope that the youths who call me "Profe" are getting as much out of the lessons as i am.

We chose Arequipa and we’re sticking to that decision. It’s so arid here, 2300m up on the western side of the Andes, only 100kms or so from the ocean (ridden my bike there 3 times this month, last time in a race, that I won!). nothing much grows except where there’s springs or melt water from the nearby 5000m+ peaks. i’ve hooked up with some local cyclists who’ve shown me some lovely spots, mind. One really stands out, and I’m sure it’s just a portal…Chiguata, the first town of a valley that starts at over 3000m and winds between two volcanoes and GREEN, verdancy so stunning against the burned brown of the high pampa. [The eastern side of the Andes is so much greener, as you know, you follow the melt water over there and you’ll get engulfed by rainforest-dreamy]. I’ve only ridden my road bike to Chiguata, I plan to go there on my mountain bike and go higher up the volcanoes, it’s fantastic, Inca terraces, farm animals and hawks and gurgling water and a step back in time, it only takes me about one and a half hours to get from home to the end of the paved road, the sleepy village plaza (ALL uphill!), and a little over half an hour to get back to the mayhem.

Finding a house that can be adapted into 2 apartments has been challenging, and the continual rise in property prices very disheartening. We dreamt of having a piece of land but that’s out of the question. Sadly, the quaint character of this town is transforming into something much harder-edged, there’s some important new mining developments in them there hills which are boosting the local economy as well as stimulating rampant, unplanned “precarious” housing development and other ills. We’d be lucky if we find a property with a tiny garden…we may well have found it last Friday, fingers crossed, we’re returning there with an architect tomorrow. We might then be able to grow some herbs, and try planting some of the seeds we brought. And have a dog. My experience with the housing market crash in MN (the whole US) has left me rather wary…but making decisions based on fear can never be right. "

And you?
 Blessings to you all

Ometeotl,

e

Sunday, 20 January 2013

Vamos a Mollendo!

Tuesday, 15 January 2013

perception

edge of darkness: perception

Thursday, 10 January 2013

waves olas

We all share the wound of fragmentation. And we can all share in the cure of unification. Healing is the unification of all our forces -- the powers of being, feeling, knowing, and seeing.

I look in the mirror and I look out the window and I see myself and others struggling to be in our bodies. Struggling to know who we are and what we need. To like ourselves, rather than wanting to be somebody else, or somewhere else. I see our inability to relate, to communicate from the heart, to overcome our distance and alienation from one another. I see us avoiding each others eyes, at a loss to know what others need. I see people searching for direction, trying to summon up their personal power, longing for the strength to be independent.

The wounded healer in me knows that healing our driven selves comes from our ability to empower our bodies, hearts, minds, souls, and spirits once more, bringing them into vital unity. Spiritual healing means taking responsibility for being a whole person. We have to take responsibility for being a body, for having a heart, for possessing a mind, for awakening our soul, for opening to our spirit. We need to do right by our body, purify our relationships, use our mind for creative freedom and not enslavement, free the soul from the ego, and undertake the spiritual journey. A whole person is an inspired person, one who embodies the spirit.

Disease is inertia. Healing is movement. If you put the body in motion, you will change. You are meant to move: from flowing to staccato, through chaos into lyrical and back into the stillness from which all movement comes.

If you let your heart be moved, be open to the risk and the adventure of feelings, letting them work through to completion, you will change. Tears turn into smiles, anger into embraces.

If you free your mind to experience and complete each of your life cycles, integrating their teachings and tasks, you will change. It's when you stop moving through life that you get caught out of place, that you react to adult situations with childhood emotions. Moving completely through your life makes you whole.

If you awaken your soul, you will change. Engage your characters. Watch yourself act them out. Master them, and you're free to be, feel, think, and act as your distinct self.

The spirit in motion heals, expands, circles in and out of the body, moving through the layers of consciousness from inertia to ecstasy. Open to the spirit, and you will be transformed.

Movement is my medium and my metaphor. I know that if a wave of energy is allowed to complete itself, it yields a whole new wave, and in fact that is all I really know. Riding these waves means joining the cosmic dance that, as Dante says, 'moves the sun and the other stars.'"

Gabrielle Roth (2/4/41--10/22/12)

traduccion, primer borrador
"Todos compartimos la herida de fragmentación. Y todos podemos compartir en la cura de unificación. Sanación es la unificación de todas nuestras fuerzas – los poderes de ser, sentir, saber y ver.
Yo miro el espejo y miro por la ventana y me veo a mí y a otros luchando para estar en nuestros cuerpos. Luchando para saber quiénes somos y lo que necesitamos. Para agradarnos, en vez de querer ser alguien más, o estar en algún otro lugar. Veo nuestra incapacidad de relacionarnos, de comunicarnos de corazón, de superar la distancia y alienación entre nosotros. Nos veo evitando nuestras miradas, sin idea de lo que otros necesitan. Veo gente buscando el camino, intentando de convocar su poder personal, anhelando la fuerza para ser independientes.
La curandera herida en mi sabe que el sanar de nuestros seres impetuosos nace de nuestra habilidad de reforzar nuestros cuerpos, mentes, almas, y espíritus nuevamente, juntándolos en una unidad vital. Sanación espiritual significa el tomar responsabilidad de ser una persona entera. Tenemos que tomar responsabilidad por ser un cuerpo, por tener un corazón, por poseer una mente, por despertar nuestra alma, por abrir nuestro espíritu. Necesitamos tratar nuestros cuerpos conscientemente, purificar nuestras relaciones, usar nuestra mente para la liberación creativa y no esclavización, librar el alma del ego, y emprender el viaje espiritual. Una persona entera es una persona inspirada, alguien que personifica al espíritu.
La enfermedad es inercia. Sanación es movimiento. Si impulsas el cuerpo a moción, tú cambiaras. Estas hecha para moverte, del fluir al staccato, del caos al lirismo y de vuelta a la quietud de la cual nace todo movimiento.
Si permites que tu corazón se remueva, estas abierta al riesgo y aventura de emociones, permitiendo que fluyan y trabajen hasta la finalización, cambiaras. Lagrimas se convertirán en sonrisas, enojo en abrazos.
Si permites que tu mente experimente y complete cada uno de los ciclos de la vida, integrando sus enseñanzas y tareas, cambiaras. Es cuando dejas de moverte a través de la vida que te quedas fuera de lugar, que reaccionas a situaciones adultas con emociones infantiles. Moverte completamente a través de tu vida te hace completo.
Si despiertas tu alma, cambiaras. Enciende tus personajes. Obsérvate actuándolos. Amaéstralos, y serás libre de ser, sentir, pensar y actuar tu ser claro.
El espíritu en moción sana, se expande, gira por dentro y por fuera del cuerpo, atravesando las capas de conciencia desde la inercia hasta la éxtasis. Ábrete al espíritu, y serás transformada.
El movimiento es mi medio y mi metáfora. Yo sé que si se permite que una ola de energía se complete, rinde una ola totalmente nueva, y de hecho eso es todo lo que verdaderamente se. Correr estas olas significa unirse a la danza cósmica que, como Dante dice, ‘mueve el sol y las otras estrellas’"
 


i'll ride the wave 
where it takes me

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