so I have this urge to recount the last 12 years or so since I last saw you...it might get boring
i'll try to stick to the facts though obviously there was a lot of drama and emotions gushing, ageing casts a harsh light on all that "maturing process", does it bring more objectivity?
I'll start with last year, though, and a little of the soul-shaking events that have brought me closer to Ometeotl, the Great Spirit.
For years I've been going to pow-wows but never to a Sundance until June last year. Always felt so welcome amongst our Native brothers and sisters, people often exclaiming how i look just like their cousin, in CA or NY or SD.
That was an incredible experience in itself, and I also met a guy from Minnesota and his wife from Mexico, both of whom are fully committed to the Red Road. I travelled with them to Mexico in October, performing ceremonies at sacred sites all along the way, culminating in a Moondance in Hidalgo. There were 350 or so women with a few dozen men, who were only allowed there as support workers. I threw my energy in with theirs, wondering why I had so little, not knowing my leukemia was already pretty advanced. All other Spiritual experiences pale.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
I left CA in the fall of 98, returned to upstate NY, hoping the winter would come early so I could work in the same ski resort, seeing loads of Jessie like I had the previous winter. The snow came really late. As the holidays approached and still no snow, I decided to go to Arkansas for Xmas, i have many cousins there and made an especially good connection with one, Francesca, and her husband Vela. We all spent Xmas and New Year with numerous family, brilliant, what a blessing. I grew up only knowing my Peruvian family, it's been amazing to meet and know my Mexican family too. Francesca and Vela were transitioning from MN to AR, but still lived in Minnesota. They invited me up for a few weeks. It was a very mild winter, hardly any snow for skiing in NY (and I didn't fully comprehend what MN winters are really like)...I started working, met some good people and before i knew it i was settling there.
In the fall i had learned of the need for interpreters in Canada, thought i had a chance of emigrating there as one. I took interpreting classes at the U of MN in 99/00, which allowed me to get my first proper medical interpreting job in 2000. I also met a woman and I found myself in my first (and only) serious relationship, lasted almost five years, we lived together for over four. She is amazing, I felt unworthy, I'm guessing you know the rest.
Jessie even moved in with us out of the blue, after we had recently moved in together. We all survived, they bonded over the course of the school year, idyllic for me, but she still went back to Canada after her 5th grade was over. Though I had moved East to be closer to Jessie, Minneapolis is still 1000 miles away and so I settled for "vacation dad", fun but lacking substance. She and I flying back and forth, one and a half hrs on the plane instead of 24hrs in the truck. Geographically closer but...
By 02/03 I had realised that the requirements to enter Canada were getting harder and more complex, was in love, making/sending more $$ than ever, and gave up hope of getting in.
I bought a house in 05 and Jessie came back, planning to stay for all her 4 high school years. Angry at her mom. Angry at me for not keeping my promise to move to Canada. It seemed like a good idea to have my mum there too, she was there for most of the school year in 06/07/08. Jessie and my mum fought continually, I just rode my bike more, numb nuts, numb heart.
Aah, my bike(s)...always loved to ride but I got really addicted in 99 - centuries, racing, terrorising drivers, Critical Mass, commuting ALL year in Mpls, gained minor notoriety in South Mpls as "that guy riding with the shiny balls".
Jessie ran away in Mpls, tried a grab for independence at 16, on her own terms, no rules, partying, panhandling, raging.
Between her mom, a homeless shelter and I we corralled her into going back to Canada.
When she turned 18 I had no more reason to be in Mpls, working, virtually earning money only for it to virtually pay the mortgage and bills. Time to hit the road again.
Only thing is, I got old(ish). My mum has no one but me and is close to losing her independence. Jessie has hers, but is weighed down by all that's wrong with the world, all that's wrong about her parents.
I want to settle in Latin America, Mexico or Peru, and learn the traditional healing of the indigenous people, curanderismo. Reaching for the wisdom of the ancestors, true relatives, still unsure how I can do that and also do right by my two closest relatives. And then there's leukemia.
