left big toe is covered in veruccas

bellyaching

poor Ti, extreme pain in the gut
didn't stop him from going up to Ads's Tree though

old friend, found

so I have this urge to recount the last 12 years or so since I last saw you...it might get boring

i'll try to stick to the facts though obviously there was a lot of drama and emotions gushing, ageing casts a harsh light on all that "maturing process", does it bring more objectivity?

I'll start with last year, though, and a little of the soul-shaking events that have brought me closer to Ometeotl, the Great Spirit.

For years I've been going to pow-wows but never to a Sundance until June last year. Always felt so welcome amongst our Native brothers and sisters, people often exclaiming how i look just like their cousin, in CA or NY or SD.

That was an incredible experience in itself, and I also met a guy from Minnesota and his wife from Mexico, both of whom are fully committed to the Red Road. I travelled with them to Mexico in October, performing ceremonies at sacred sites all along the way, culminating in a Moondance in Hidalgo. There were 350 or so women with a few dozen men, who were only allowed there as support workers. I threw my energy in with theirs, wondering why I had so little, not knowing my leukemia was already pretty advanced. All other Spiritual experiences pale.

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I left CA in the fall of 98, returned to upstate NY, hoping the winter would come early so I could work in the same ski resort, seeing loads of Jessie like I had the previous winter. The snow came really late. As the holidays approached and still no snow, I decided to go to Arkansas for Xmas, i have many cousins there and made an especially good connection with one, Francesca, and her husband Vela. We all spent Xmas and New Year with numerous family, brilliant, what a blessing. I grew up only knowing my Peruvian family, it's been amazing to meet and know my Mexican family too. Francesca and Vela were transitioning from MN to AR, but still lived in Minnesota. They invited me up for a few weeks. It was a very mild winter, hardly any snow for skiing in NY (and I didn't fully comprehend what MN winters are really like)...I started working, met some good people and before i knew it i was settling there.

Ometeotl, guiame

always imagining i can write something more profound find the way to express what hasn't been expressed beofre
so waiting waiting
inspiration will flow

seeking depth and clarity, always

how much of my wellbeing is my body and how much is my soul

spirit brightening lighting the spark sparking flint
tinder
i am different now than before i was told i have leukemia, beofr my blood was dying, before i was dying, now I am lving

beofre i had the treatment poison
slowly regaining my stregth
where is my faith

the results look better every week

No pude avanzar muy lejos de Ojo de Agua en la bici, me dio pulmonia. Espere en San Juan del Rio, QRO por 8 dias, pensando que lueguito mejoraria, pero no. Me vine de volada a Gran Bretaña, donde aun vive mi Mama, y aqui me diagnosticaron con leucemia (tipo de cancer). Ya tuve tratamiento y voy mejorando, gracias a Ometeotl.

When love awakens in your life, in the night of your heart, it is like the dawn breaking within you. Where before there was anonymity now there is intimacy; where before there was fear, now there is courage; where before in your life there was awkwardness, now there is a rhythm of grace and gracefulness; where before you were jagged, now you are elegant and in rhythm with your self. When love awakens in your life, it is like a rebirth, a new beginning.

"Anam Cara" by John O'Donohue

Cuando el amor despierta en tu vida, en la noche de tu corazon, es como el alba amaneciendo en ti. Donde antes habia anonimidad ahora hay intimidad; donde antes habia miedo, ahora hay valor; donde antes en tu vida habia torpeza, ahora hay un ritmo de gracia y garbo; donde antes eras brusca, ahora eres elegante y en ritmo con tu ser. Cuando el amor despierta en tu vida, es como un renacimiento, un nuevo comienzo.