seeds

Dear fmc.clinic,

I want to thank each and everyone of you for sharing germs, laughter, tears and the essence of your being with me for the last 8 years. Oh, and the holiday parties, drowsy clinic-wide meetings, differences of opinion and candy. Many of you have some idea of who I am, some don’t. One cannot choose their memories, nor what they are remembered for, that is partly why I have avoided telling anyone when I’m leaving [2011 edit - if i had told people i would have been crying uncontrollably, and not just on my last day. no es que llorar tenga algo de malo, solo que llorar tanto, desatar esa tormenta de emocion por todas las despedidas de tantas personas que siempre estaran en mi corazon hubiera sido demasiado estremecedor]. We have had plenty of chances to show one another who we are, over these years, and if we did not take those chances, too busy or too afraid, then a parting gesture pales next to all the opportunities, taken or missed.


Muchisimas Gracias!!

Faces changed, literally and figuratively, over time, staff turnover and the wear and tear of lives lived taking their toll. But the expression of our common, universal Spirit continues in each of those faces regardless of the identity of the wearer. Joy and pain fill us, refill us and we go on, sharing what we can, or must.

As Sakyamuni once said...

Grieve not for me, but mourn for those who stay behind, bound by longings to which the fruit is sorrow…for what confidence have we in life when death is ever at hand?...
Even were I to return to my kindred by reason of affection, yet we should be divided in the end by death. The meeting and parting of living things is as when clouds having come together drift apart again, or as when the leaves are parted from the trees. There is nothing we may call our own in a union that is but a dream…

My daughter is almost 18 now, back in Canada with her maternal family, and all she needs from me, for now, is a monthly cheque. My mother is in Great Britain and unsure of where and how she wants to spend the last days of her current life. They are my reason.
Still restless, the road calls to me every day, and so I'm getting ready to heed its call, wandering again. Let the wind decide, at least for the next few months.

I also want to take this opportunity to share a message sent by one of our ex-supervisors and the response of one her ex-employees, as well as my own reaction. I have recently been reading a book on Latin American history and found some interesting, apropos excerpts I have translated into English. It is an attachment "seeds", open it at your peril…

"Ya que no tengo fortuna,
estas tres cosas te ofrezco,
alma, corazon y vida y nada mas"

recuerdos 

Cariñosamente,

Edgar

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


the attachment...

I was stewing for weeks, enraged by the following email, so wrong on so many levels.
I enjoyed the raw response from one of the young clerks who’s no longer at HCMC.

My response:
Upon further reflection I see it as an opportunity. I am not a historian, nor an economist, and the pride I feel about my culture does not blind me to the continuing corruption and internal colonialism that is prevalent to this day.Trying to unlearn the cold, calculated logic of my Western education. All that mental junk which can rationalise, explain the point of tribalism and othering. Which are at the root of exploitation, guttural, instinctual, have been since the dawn of time. Can you honestly explain to a child the need for oppression and inequality. And if you could, why would you?

Pero la region sigue trabajando de sirvienta. Continua existiendo al servicio de las necesidades ajenas, como fuente y reserva del petroleo y el hierro, el cobre y la carne, las frutas y el cafe, las materias primas y los alimentos con destino a los paises ricos que ganan, consumiendolos, mucho mas de lo que America Latina gana produciendolos. Son muchos mas altos los impuestos que cobran los compradores que los precios que reciben los vendedores; y al fin y al cabo, como declaro en julio de 1968 Covey T Oliver, coordinador de la Alianza para el Progreso, "hablar de precios justos en la actualidad es un concepto medieval. Estamos en plena epoca de la libre comercializacion.."

-->

-->

<"But the region still works in servitude. It continues to exist in the service of foreign needs, as the source and reserve of oil and iron, copper and meat, fruit and coffee, raw materials destined for the rich countries that earn more by consuming them, much more than Latin America earns by producing them. The taxes that the buyers apply are much higher than the prices that the sellers receive; and ultimately, as Covey T Oliver, the coordinator of the Alliance for Progress, declared in July 1968, "to speak of fair prices in the present is a medieval concept. We are in the throes of free trade...">

So the wholesale buyers make more money from re-selling raw materials/produce than the people who produced them. Is that so shocking? If not, why not? How about we merely begin to redress the imbalance, reward hard labour a little more and business acumen less, then we can all go home. If one is fortunate enough to know where home is.

“los indios padecen el colonialismo interno de los blancos y mestizos, ideologicamente bendito por la cultura dominante, del mismo modo que los paises centroamericanos sufren el colonialismo extranjero.”

<“The indigenous people are afflicted by the internal colonialism of the white and partially white, blessed ideologically by the dominant culture, in the same way that Central American countries suffer from foreign colonialism.”>

People forced off their lands, appropiated by foreign companies, or their local subsidiaries, no longer able to cultivate the food they need. There are banana and coffee plantations where there once grew beans, rice and corn.
Whilst on the subject of history, I will say this. The European economy was floundering before the "discovery" of the American continent. The sudden, huge influx of wealth from gold and silver invigorated the financial systems of the very countries which went on to be at the forefront of the Industrial Revolution. Spain had to pay the English Crown most of what it took from Latin America, as a result of having been defeated by them in 1588. Without the funds, how much longer would it have taken the scientists to create, for example, the locomotive?
Or else, simply think of this. That same wealth transfer was vital for this parcel of the Americas to be transformed into the Land of Hope and Freedom that it is today. Stolen from the natives by the conquistadores, indebted to the English, who invested 'wisely' in more pillaging and exploitation. Why is English the official language of the US, and not Spanish or French?
Where did the funds come from? Latin America (and Africa and Asia)!
But rage, justified or not, is not productive.
More recently, I volunteered to join the HCMC Diversity Council. Alas, it was an exercise in consensus within a bureaucracy, mired in political correctness. Running to stand still. So now I share this with love and respect… 

Here’s the impassioned response first, and then the original message which ends, brilliantly, with
“If you don’t agree, delete it” (!!!)
 
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Jenovi's response:

First of all I have receive these little e-mails that are very interesting but have not responded to them cause they are not importent. I was born in Minneapolis MN and I am an American Citizen. I graduated with a bachelors degree and will earn a criminal justice degree at the end of spring semester. I will also be going to law school some time next year. I have 25,000 in loans that I am paying back. My parents worked their butts off to get me through the first year of school and the rest was my responsibility. I maybe receive 2,000 from the government for school and nothing else. I have the privilege of growing up in a middle class and now the privilege of being educated. But non-sense emails like this one is the idea of an uneducated (more likely non-person of color) who needs to go back to school and learn more about what they read and talk about.
This email is embarrassing. There is more to things than it appears. In the situation that is presented (one of many) the lady from the Dominican Republic is getting assistance with her education. If I would of had that opportunity to not work and focus on my studies I would have taken it. Hands down and any body else for that matter non-citizen or citizen (how funny is it that only those that are of different color are getting the spot light- don't forget the "non-citizen" that are of European descent). Hear is another little fact many "non-citizens" would love to be in their own countries but because of financial reasons they come here to work for the minimum wage. Maybe this person wants to "one day" RETIRE and than go to their country.... What if they do want to go back as soon is they are done? That's Awesome! Going back to the poverty where they use to live in and using their knowledge to help their own people to educate them is noble. I bet many wouldn't do it.
And what the hell is singing the national anthem in Spanish have to do with any of this. That is called bigotry. Let me tell you something, like it or not Minorities -citizens or non-citizen will be here to stay. Get use to it
English is made up of different words TAKEN from other countries and the "U.S." don't forget was other peoples land which has brutally taken from them.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Marie's original (forwarded) message:

Subject: FW: To All American Citizens! Oh, With Common Sense!
This is too much. It is time that US Citizens had some privileges for being born here. What is it going to take?
Sincerely,
Marie

Read this and think about what is going down, right in front of us and yet we still stand by and only watch. What's it going to take to motivate people to wake up?
Letter by a Florida teacher................
A teacher speaks
This is a subject close to my heart. Do you know that we have adult students, at the school where I teach, who are not US citizens and who get the PELL grant, which is a federal grant (no pay back required) plus other federal grants to go to school?
One student from the Dominican Republic told me that she didn't want me to find a job for her after she finished my program, because she was getting housing from our housing department and she was getting a PELL grant which paid for her total tuition and books, plus money leftover.
She was looking into WAIT which gives students a CREDIT CARD for gas to come to school, and into CARIBE which is a special program (check it out - I did) for immigrants and it pays for child care and all sorts of needs while they go to school or training. The one student I just mentioned told me she was not going to be a US Citizen because she plans to return to the Dominican Republic someday and that she 'loves HER country.'
http://www.caribeprogram.com/
I asked her if she felt guilty taking what the US is giving her and then not even bothering to become a citizen and she told me that it doesn't bother her, because that is what the money is there for!
I asked the CARIBE administration about their program and if you ARE a US Citizen, you don't qualify for their program. And all the while, I am working a full day, my son-in-law works more than 60 hours a week, and everyone in my family works and pays for our education.
Something is wrong here. I am sorry but after hearing they want to sing the National Anthem in Spanish - enough is enough. Nowhere did they sing it in Italian, Polish, Irish (Celtic), German or any other language because of immigration. It was written by Francis Scott Key and should be sung word for word the way it was written. The news broadcasts even gave the translation -- not even close.
Sorry if this offends anyone but this is MY COUNTRY. IF IT IS YOUR COUNTRY SPEAK UP -- please pass this along.
I am not against immigration -- just come through like everyone else.
Get a sponsor; have a place to lay your head; have a job; pay your taxes, live by the rules AND LEARN THE LANGUAGE as all other immigrants have in the past and GOD BLESS AMERICA! 
Think about this: If you don't want to forward this for fear of offending someone -- YOU'RE PART OF THE PROBLEM! It is Time for America to speak up.
If you agree -- pass this along, if you don't agree --- delete it!